Friday, April 12, 2024
Genocide In Gaza
Wednesday, October 11, 2023
How Did We Get Here?
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| #GazaUnderAttack by Palestinian artist, Mira Shihadeh |
It is not outside the realm of possibility that Gaza and its inhabitants will be wiped off the face of the earth.
And I promise you, if this happens, we will collectively never recover.
Not only Palestinians, or Arabs - but all of us, the entire world, will never recover the stain this will leave on our human history.
I want to remind you, as we stare in horror and disbelief at the escalation and sheer destruction of the violence in Gaza and Israel, that the borders for Gazans are closed. They are sealed. There is literally nowhere for them to go.
No shelter.
No safe spaces.
No fleeing across the border into other countries or towns.
They can walk into the sea and drown, or they can sit in place and be obliterated.
There is no other option.
Israelis, on the other hand, do not have this restriction.
In many cases, they carry dual citizenship, and have no restriction on their mobility.
In many cases, Israelis have chosen to relocate to Palestine from places like Poland, Ukraine, Brooklyn, and New Jersey.
In many cases, they’ve made these choices fairly recently in the last 75 years, and even when they haven’t, they’re still able to go elsewhere if they must and they can escape to safety if they choose to. The operative word being “choose” - to have a choice.
Gazans and other Palestinians, in an overwhelming number of cases don’t even have Palestinian passports and travel documents, much less a second citizenship. Those of us who are not living in Palestine, and those of us who have fled and lived in exile for 75 years, are not allowed to return to visit our family homes or, if we are able to visit (as I am), are not ever allowed to live on our own land.
Our Palestinian family has withstood the humiliation of a 75-year occupation, brutal at times, violent, cruel, and systemic.
I’ll tell you a few truths about our families, friends, and colleagues:
I have a friend whose elderly father woke up one morning in Jerusalem and went downstairs to open his front door, only to be confronted by a brick wall that had sprouted overnight.
Confused, he went back upstairs to look out the second floor window and saw an IOF soldier standing guard. When he asked him what was happening, he was informed that this was now an extension of the separation Apartheid wall.
“But this is my front door! How am I supposed to leave my house?”
“I don’t know. Jump out the window.”
Jump out the window.
And so his neighbors got him a ladder and that’s how he gets in and out of his own house.
*The petty absurdity and humiliation of occupation.*
Another truth:
There’s an IOF Watchtower on the “Jerusalem ID Only” road between Ramallah and Jerusalem. The area is a no-man’s-land stretch of road right after the checkpoint that gets you out of Ramallah if you’re lucky to be let out (which is entirely subject to the discretion of an 18-year old IOF conscript).
On either side of that road is a single home, each with a balcony on the second floor facing the other. There are about 2 lanes of asphalt road that separate the two homes, along with a fence on either side.
The two homes belong to two brothers.
The brothers are not allowed on the asphalt paved road because they don’t hold Jerusalem IDs. If they are caught on that road, they will be shot by the IOF on sight.
The brothers have been unable to visit each other FROM ACROSS THE STREET since 1967.
In order for them to see and hug each other in person, they must get permission from the Israeli authorities to travel. This may or may not be given.
Then, they must travel AROUND the country to get to the other side, in a journey that can take anywhere between 4-8 hours, if it’s permitted at all.
Every single morning, the brothers step out onto their respective balconies and share a cup of coffee from across the street just to say “good morning” and check in on each other.
*The petty absurdity and humiliation of occupation.*
Another truth:
Israel does not have a written constitution, and this is a strategic and purposeful move. Without codified governing law, it is governed by flexible policies that can be easily and expeditiously amended to suit the occupiers.
Municipal laws in different areas of Israel dictate how people live. In Jaffa, for example, it is illegal to renovate the facade of any building without the permission of the government. If you’re a Palestinian family living in the home you’ve owned for generations, you’re inevitably going to need to make renovations at some point. That’s fine, but you need permission.
A light burns out on your front porch. Sometimes, you’ll find the light has been broken (and we know the Israelis often ensure that happens. An errant rock hits the light bulb. An errant soccer ball smashes your front window. Oops π¬). You can’t fix that without a permit. But you ALSO can only use a select number of service providers to fix it, all approved by the municipal authority. Of course, the cost of these services is prohibitive and normally out of reach for your average family. So what happens when it’s your light, and your windows, and the steps of your front entrance, and your roof - all considered part of the facade of your building and, therefore, ineligible for renovation without permits?
Well, eventually, your home becomes uninhabitable. And you are forced to leave. But what happens when a Jewish, Israeli family moves in? Well, the government is pleased to cover all the expenses for renovation and upgrade of your new home. Naturally.
*The petty absurdity and humiliation of occupation.*
(Don’t bother asking your Israeli friends to verify these policies because they won’t know about them since they don’t apply to them. But you can check out verified affidavits and oral testimonies gathered by Israeli Human Rights organizations - I won’t even ask you to simply believe the first-hand accounts of actual Palestinians, God forbid - and you can start by consulting https://www.adalah.org/en for more on this. It’s infuriating, just be warned.)
But why am I sharing all of this?
Before anyone accuses me - and there’s been plenty of that in the past few days - of trying to use FACTS and context to justify any violence and abuse against civilians, let me just say that what I’m doing is simply providing the context for why this is where we’ve ended up. Not why it’s deserved or why it should be celebrated, but why it has happened and why it’s not a fair fight or a “conflict” among equals, but a reckoning for the future and dignity of an oppressed group.
I’m providing this context so that you understand that it’s difficult for us Palestinians to feel equal sympathy and empathy for the challenges faced by a family who moved to Palestine based on birthright and now occupies the home of a family that’s been inhabited for literal generations to the suffering of the people who have been forcibly evicted and ethnically cleansed - whether in an instant during the Nakba and any other instance of eviction, or over time through the implementation of Apartheid policies that slowly and routinely chip away at the rights of the indigenous population. Either way you look at it, it’s ethnic cleansing at best, and now with the annihilation of Gaza, it’s genocide.
A holocaust, if you will.
Plain and simple.
Let me also mention another phenomenon of occupation. When you see fanatical settlers burning down olive groves, razing homes, burning crops, destroying property, desecrating holy places, and pouring cement into water wells, what you normally see on the other side of that fight are Palestinian families defending their homes, their homeland, their properties, their treasured heritage.
Ask yourselves this: does this destruction and desecration seem to be behavior that is in line with the values of a people who are indigenous to a land? Does this seem like behavior that you’d see from people who love and care about a place? Because it doesn’t to me. They are able to destroy and dismantle because this land is not embedded in their souls. It is not imprinted on their hearts. It is simply ideologically imposed on their sense of entitlement, and they will never be connected to it in the same way as those who literally lay down their lives to protect it. Remember that when they call themselves “Indigenous” to this land.
Back to the horrors unfolding as we speak. I have Israeli friends who are hurting and desperate at the losses they and their communities are suffering. As a human being who is not a savage, I hurt for them and I don’t wish any of this on them or their loved ones. But it would be disingenuous for me to neglect the fact that there are inevitable consequences to choices. If you choose to build a life on land that is colonized and settled, and has been historically inhabited for centuries - millennia, even - prior to your arrival, in homes that were lived in by families much like your own, it isn’t beyond the realm of comprehension why you might find it difficult to live peacefully and in harmony. Let’s at least agree on that, right?
Like, it’s not INEXPLICABLE that a country established and built on the foundations of violence will be confronted with resistance at some point, right? We can all agree that, like it or not, resistance isn’t always polite and non-violent, right? I don’t think these are unreasonable truths to admit. They are painful and result in unnecessary and devastating losses, absolutely, but it can’t be controversial to speak these truths, right?
It’s horrific and it’s tragic, but it’s also not inexplicable, no matter how hard we try to erase the context of its genesis.
Israelis have an overdue reckoning with their government and the failures of the state in protecting its citizens - not only from the seemingly sudden uprising of Hamas, but from the 75 years of policies that have placed Israelis in the position they are in today - as occupiers, as colonizers, as citizens that inadvertently uphold a system of brutality and humiliation on a daily basis of an indigenous population that has just simply had enough. This is a reckoning that is far overdue and Israelis should be absolutely livid that this is what it’s come to. Be enraged at Hamas, by all means, but remember why they have been empowered and by whom.
Most Palestinians I know - and I count myself among them - have no issue with a scenario where the liberation of Palestine includes the incorporation of current residents of the Israeli state as equal citizens of one state. Truly, and without exaggeration, this is not the issue.
The liberation of Palestine need not be predicated on the expulsion of its Jewish/Israeli population.
But the dismantling of the system of Apartheid, the racist structure within which Palestinians are placed, the dehumanization and campaign of discrimination being framed by language we’ve heard from Nazis and others (the Rwandans and Serbians come to mind), referring to us as “human animals” as a way to radicalize entire populations globally against us - THAT is what needs to be destroyed.
The liberation of Palestine means an end to the occupation of all its land. That’s all there is to it. We can “mental gymnastics” our way around this and weave narratives that circumvent the ultimate outcome, but that’s the only solution.
I have a meeting in a few hours with a group of colleagues from donor foundations in the Arab region to discuss how we might be able to secure the transfer of funds and supplies to Gaza immediately and in the future.
The main fuel-operated generator that supplies much of Gaza ran out of fuel at 2 PM local time on Wednesday.
This means hospitals cannot save lives. Internet is down.
There is even less electricity than the one or two hours a day that were originally provided.
There is no water.
My colleague, Ammar, was speaking with me yesterday and the line went dead immediately after I heard a huge explosion. He survived, And when he called me back, his voice was shaking.
There are no supplies left in Gaza.
One of our member organizations with an on the ground presence stocked up on and distributed supplies on Tuesday.
By Wednesday, when they went to replenish, there was nothing left.
NOTHING.
No bread.
No water.
No basic necessities.
You wonder how people are radicalized? This is how.
On one side of the border, a group was attending a rave with music and drinking and dancing. Mere miles away, an entire population that’s been trying to live with a modicum of dignity for the past 16 years was struggling to breathe. Both sides have lost a lot and it is tragic. But only one side didn’t have much to lose to begin with and may have even less to lose - whatever that means - by the end of this.
Remember that when they ask you how we got here.
*The petty absurdity and humiliation of occupation.*
The thing is, though, as I write this I honestly don’t know if there will be anyone left to help in Gaza and I’m telling you, if that happens, we will never ever recover.
π΅πΈππ»❤️
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| Photo Credit: Hani ElShaer |
Thursday, May 20, 2021
Be My Palestine.
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View of Al Aqsa Compound - although the image is blurry, I chose to share it because it is my own picture, from my BlackBerry phone, that I took of Jerusalem in 2007 So listen, it's going to take me a minute to articulate this clearly, so please bear with me, and forgive me for the length of this post, but I had to do it. I am the daughter of a Palestinian man. My father was born in Jaffa, Palestine on June 1st, 1947 to a German-Palestinian mother, and a Palestinian father. When my father was less than a year old, my grandfather was out of town on business and my grandmother was alone with my infant father at home, having breakfast. My father got fussy, as babies do, and just as my grandmother lifted him out of his high chair, a bullet came through the window and landed right where he had been sitting just a mere second before. That's how my grandmother knew the "war" had come to their door. As she told it for years and years after, a microbus made its way around the neighborhood and collected families to take them to safety. They did not have enough time to take anything with them. My grandmother grabbed the wad of money she had hidden under the mattress and stuffed it in her bra, scooped up her infant son, and hopped on the bus, leaving breakfast on the table. Eventually, my grandfather reunited with his young family and they settled, first in Syria where my uncle was born, and then in Saudi Arabia, where my grandmother, refusing to conform to ridiculous sexism, drove a car - even though it was forbidden for women - dressed as a man by taping her breasts down. At some point before settling in Cairo for over 25 years, the family lived in Rome where my grandfather worked for the newly established UN's FAO. My grandparents eventually moved and settled down in Amman, Jordan, where they lived until they died in 1997 (him) and 2016 (her). They remained refugees for the rest of their lives since 1948, and they never ever lost the pang of heart-wrenching homesickness for the home they left behind, with breakfast still on the table. Throughout my childhood, and until she died in 2016, I would ask my grandmother to tell me the story of their escape from Palestine, and their lifelong dreams of returning to their homeland. It always felt so removed from any reality I could fathom and I always envisioned Palestine as a surreal place - not something I could touch or smell, but an idea I could hold onto only in my imagination. My father rarely ever spoke about his feelings of being a refugee, mostly because he had found a home and a life in Egypt, and he felt more Egyptian than anything else, but glimpses of his ingrained trauma would show up in unexpected ways. I remember once when I was in grade school, our choir teacher at my American school taught us Hava Nagila (which I can still sing by heart in Hebrew). I knew the song was Hebrew, I knew Israelis sang it, but there wasn't much distinction between Jewish, Israeli, Zionist, etc. at that time. I was just the child of a Palestinian and I wasn't sure I was supposed to be singing that song in that language. But I wanted to know: What were the limits? What did my father *really* think? So I sang it in the car while my father was driving and when he heard what I was singing, he swerved the car, banged on the steering wheel, and yelled "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SINGING?? WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?" And it scared me. But I knew then that, yeah, Dad had feelings about this, and they were strong. When I grew older and could have a deeper, more nuanced understanding of the issue, my Dad and I would discuss it at length and I began to understand the differences in ideology and political leanings versus religion, etc. I studied the history much more deeply as a young adult and asked more questions, so I was able to form a much more holistic, multi-dimensional view of this issue than I was capable of doing as a child. When I moved to New York in my 20s, I met and made friends with more Jews than I had met in my lifetime (not many Jews living in Egypt - and fewer Israelis - when I lived there). I grew to love and cherish my Jewish friends, and discussed issues of Zionism and my Palestinian-ness, but my positions were muted if I'm being honest. I was intimidated and there was a sense of shame at being Palestinian - a shame I can't explain. During my time in NY, I worked at Sesame Workshop for over 13 years. Throughout my career, I worked on and produced the Palestinian adaptation of Sesame Street (among 16 other adaptations) with colleagues in Palestine. To say my experience was smooth would be an egregious lie. It was not smooth. It was littered with anti-Arabness, and definite racism, and several incidents where I was told, to my face, that I could not name the country of "Palestine" explicitly, but that I also could not call it "Occupied," but was allowed to say "Palestinians" to identify a people, but I could not identify their country, MY country. Talk about a fucking cognitive dissonance! One day, I will write at length about this experience because it deserves a longer, more in-depth interrogation of the dynamic of being the only Arab (for the first few years) on the NY side of the production, working on an exclusively Arab program, being managed by a group of avowed Zionists - whom I respected and reported to so, AWKWARD - and being silenced because my livelihood depended on not being difficult. On not speaking out. On not rocking the boat. That contributed to the shame. When I DO eventually write it all down, I will explain how, even amidst the shame and intimidation, I still managed moments of subtle resistance - like how, when I was told I couldn't say "Palestine" in the voice-over for a highlight reel on the history of Sesame Street's work in the Arab region, but I could say "Palestinian," I ended up saying "Palestinian" more times than necessary just to make the point. My American colleagues didn't notice, but you bet your ass my Arab colleagues caught this subtle act of subterfuge. In 2006, I finally had the opportunity to visit Palestine to work with my Palestinian Sesame Street colleagues. Thanks to my American passport, by virtue of having been born in the US, I was able to travel to Palestine. I remember being paralyzed with anticipation and, frankly, scared of the experience. I didn’t know what to expect and, remember, for me the image of Palestine was ethereal and disconnected from reality. I did not understand it tangibly. I saw it only as a fragmented place of mystery, suffering, beauty, pain, olive trees, ghettos, homes without their owners, owners with keys to homes they no longer lived in, oranges, the Al-Aqsa compound, the Dome of the Rock, the Wailing Wall - but all of these things were incongruous in my mind’s eye. How they fit together, their geographic proximity to each other, eluded my comprehension. I vowed to stay silent on my first trip. I vowed to absorb and observe and to take in the experience without reacting because I wanted it to bleed into me, if that makes any sense? I have since been to Palestine a few more times between 2006 and 2016 and, while I love being there - in Ramallah, in Haifa, in Al Quds - I HATE the humiliation and degradation of the experience of the journey. I could take a flight into Ben Gurion if I wanted to - there are flights from Cairo daily. But I have always chosen to make the crossing via the Allenby Bridge out of Jordan because I don’t want the easier way. If my colleagues and comrades have to endure this humiliation, then I will, too, in solidarity because AT LEAST I have the luxury of being able to go to my father’s homeland and touch the land he was denied from ever seeing since he was 6 months old. The Wall - from my trip to Ramallah in 2016 When I was first offered the opportunity to visit Palestine, I was unsure whether I should make the trip or boycott it. My father, who had never been back since the expulsion of 1948, said “Of course you should go. This is your country. You have every right to it, and we should ALL go, as often as possible, all the time, whenever we can, because they [the Zionists] are counting on our exhaustion and on us giving up. You have the means to go, go for all of us. And go as many times as you can stand it.” And so I went. And I stayed silent. And I observed. And I absorbed. And I was floored by the discovery that all these places that had become mythical in my mind were within reach, and they were close together. Jerusalem [Al Quds] is a mere 25-30 minutes by car from Ramallah if you’re allowed on the roads that don’t circumnavigate the country. If you don’t have the right permissions - which are impossible to get - it can take you up to 4 hours to get from Ramallah to Al Quds, depending on the mood of the 18-year old border guard, if he/she lets you pass at all. Humiliation. Jaffa is a mere hour away from Ramallah - again if you’re even allowed out of Ramallah. Haifa is a 2-hour trip from Ramallah - AGAIN, only if you’re allowed. And so on. Well, I visited all these places, and my beloved colleague, Daoud Kuttab, took me to see my family home in Al Quds, and took me to lunch at my OTHER family home - the American Colony hotel which was, once upon a time, owned by my grandmother’s family, the Al Husseinis - and it was surreal and it was magical and it was painful. And every time I crossed the border since that first time, I fucking hated every minute of it. The disdain, the filthy stares, the purposeful delays - once up to 11 hours in the cold without access to a bathroom or my luggage for a jacket - and this is NOTHING compared to what my peers have to suffer from any time and every time they attempt to venture beyond the inhuman barricades that prevent them from living freely in their own country. On their own land.
In July/August 2014, when Gaza was under siege, I was back living in Cairo working for an Arab organization, with many links across the Arab region. The situation and massacre of Gaza hit very close to home, both literally and figuratively, and I was bereft. I ended up penning a poem in the middle of the night, during Ramadan, a poem that flowed out of me from a place of anguish and pain. The poem was about hate - an emotion I believe has its place - but it was also about the boundaries of that hate. I HATED what Israel was doing to Palestine and Palestinians. I HATED the blind disregard for human life the Israeli government and its army had for the Palestinians. But I could not - and will not - ever bring myself to wish death and torture on Israelis, nor could I revel in their death or destruction. But some of the shame I'd felt in earlier years had begun to dissipate a little.
This poem that flowed from my anger and despair was eventually picked up by a former boss of mine from my Sesame Street days and she asked me if she could publish it. The poem, incidentally, is called “I Will Not” and it was my attempt at declaring my steadfast commitment to NOT stooping to the lowest denominator of hatred and NOT calling for the death and destruction of anyone, even if they were calling for mine. NOT AN EASY THING TO DO, my friends. We eventually published the poem in 3 languages - Arabic, English, and Hebrew. The poem was illustrated by an Israeli artist whose work I was mesmerized by. And it was eventually also turned into an e-book that was narrated in the 3 languages by children. It was dedicated to the memory of my late father, Zimo, because I think he would have appreciated this journey of mine. Today, I find that I am rid of any of the shame and intimidation of my past. And I feel like a fucking coward that, for so many years, I was scared to openly and proudly declare my Palestinian roots. Afraid of the consequences on my career, afraid of the stereotypes and being made to feel, somehow, that I would be called on to “prove” my worthiness, to earn my existence, afraid to hold my head up high for the pride of my ethnicity and, most importantly, afraid to stand strong and defend my right to say this: “What we are seeing - and have seen since 1948 - is Apartheid. It is state-sanctioned terrorism. It is the ethnic cleansing and, in some cases, the state-sponsored massacre of my people. It is the wrong fucking side of history, and if you support it, you are against me and my existence. If you ‘both sides’ this shit, you are “All Lives Matter”-ing an issue that does not warrant this. There are children who are being murdered in Palestine because the force of the army that oppresses them is an ARMY - armed to the hilt, financed to the heavens, and capable of leveling entire villages in one fell swoop. If you ‘two sides to every conflict’ this bullshit, you are essentially telling me that my life and the lives of CHILDREN and the lives of my families and friends DO NOT MATTER because you are siding with the stronger, more powerful, and more capable aggressor, oppressor, and criminal. And that’s your prerogative, I can’t do anything about that. But I can tell you this: I will not be ashamed one moment longer. I will never stay quiet lest you deny me a job, or a visa, or a friendship. I will never again pretend I am not outraged and fucking HURT by your support of an Apartheid regime. Because that is a red line for me. And if you know anything about history, it should be a fucking red line for you too.” Never again, folks. Remember that? (Feel free to share this. It is public for that reason. I am aware of the risks :-)) Thank you for reading. |
Thursday, April 9, 2015
I Will Not.
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| Syria's Children |
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| Palestine's Father & Child - Gaza 2014 |
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| Libya's Child |
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| Syria's Children |
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| Yemen's Child |
Monday, October 6, 2014
I Believe I Can Fly.
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| The 30,000 ft. View |
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| "The Desert Fox" |
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| Zimo and Amr Shannon in the 80s |
Fly me to the moon, I say... Sign me up.



















